Tuesday, 23 February 2010

Hate golf?

Yeah, so does this dude. He's probably not to keen on football either. He also hates damp grass, gravity and kittehs. You know what he hates most? YOU! He told me, now watch the gif again and laugh extra hard. I'm thinking he could make his name in slapstick comedy, He's a natural. Think about it, twirly ballet style swing? Check. Stupid bitchy throw? Check. Hilariously inept kick followed by awesome fall? That's a big 10-4!

Monday, 22 February 2010

What the heck is in her water supply?

Rainbows! Near the ground? Holy shit, somebody call a scientician!

Yeah, I know it's another old one but I feel this video should be preserved for furure generations.

The snow returns

It snowed. Snow is bad when you work outdoors. Here's a picture symbolising why snow is bad.

See, the dinosaur skull represents my job, and the snow symbolises... well, snow. Because the dinosaur.. and it's dead, in snow. I was never any good at metaphors. Went to work as usual knowing that it would be a waste of time, even though the job's an hours travel from here. We got there, sat around for an hour and came home. Three hours of my day wasted. On a plus side I had the most scrummy sausage cob from a nice little café in Newark.

Thursday, 18 February 2010

Back to business

Well, I've not been around for a few days, that's because my computer was buried under a pile of shit while the Electricians made a mess of my house. Apparrently my wiring was "old and unsafe" so the council took it upon themselves to ensure I had one hell of a shit week. I had to take carpets up, put everything in the middle of rooms and pack all my awesome things into boxes (and I just know they're gonna be in there for a while, I can't be bothered to unpack them). So now they've done all their updating and I'm left with plastic casing going up and down almost every wall because they could'nt be bothered to cut into the walls and inexplicable placings of wall sockets. I only wish I'd have been home to ask them if they knew what the fuck they were doing. Oh, and don't get me started on their patching. AAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!! *normal servie will resume shortly*

Thursday, 11 February 2010

Another Sonic post (sorry)

I was just about to hit the hay and realised that the Sonic and Sega allstars racing demo had finished downloading so I decided to have a quick go and y'know see if it was better than that "other Kart racing game". So I started it up, as you do, and picked one of the two available characters (I'll get to that later). The first thing I noticed were the graphics, the level I played looked gorgeous and instantly identifiable as a Sonic-y level. The lights went green and I sped of across the beach and drifted through a power up, it was only the FUCKING CHAOS EMERALDS!!! I hit the button and wasn't really surprised when Sonic turned super but I was very happy. Then I got hit from behind by that cunting monkey Amigo, but his uppance came when I got him back with a rocket. Round the loop I went, trying to get a good look at the scenery whilst simultaneously trying not to drive off the edge of the track. anyway, I came last. Billy Hatcher won. Billy and I go back a long way so I wasn't angry. In fact, it was only then that I became aware of the huge grin on my face. I was probably grinning like a tart the whole way through. The game is a total fanwank, I fucking love it, and that's just one level. There's a house of the dead level... I mean track. A Jet set/grind Radio track, a shit load of Sonic tracks (makes sense seeing as the levels in most Sonic games could make good race tracks) and... many more... I forget which others. Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that other playable characters. Technically it's two. Banjo and Kazooie. I mean why? I'm sure I'm not alone and I fucking hate those characters. Hopefully they're the only none Sega characters in the finished game. My only other gripe so far is that annoying ass announcer, I do hope we can mute his stupid comments. And before anyone else asks "But why does sonic need a car?", it's to make it fair Ok? everyone knows Sonic would leave everyone eating his dust if he was running. Which is why I hate Mario and Sonic at ANY of the olympic games. Luckily this game comes out around my birthday so I'm going to get two copies. One to play and one to sleep with (under my pillow Ok? God, I'm not a pervert).

Unauthorised Absence (or "holy shit I think I'm dying")

What a shit week. I started sneezing on monday, no biggy I like sneezing, by tuesday I was suffering with the worst cold ever known to man. It was so severe I upgraded it to flumonia. What didn't help was that I work outside in the freezing fucking cold wth no way to get warm. The heater in our work van is fucked and not even three pairs of socks would warm my toes up. It's been a miserable week, coming home and going to bed then getting up in the morning feeling like a bukake victim. Seriously, the shit that was coming out of my nose is undescribeable (It was actually just snot which is pretty easy to describe but sounds nowhere near as dramatic). I'm starting to feel a bit better now, hopefully I'll be all fixed up for friday, I hate the thought of not being able to drink on the weekend *shudder*. So for the two or three people that might stumble across my blog, thats the reason I haven't updated since tuesday, and that was a mighty struggle let me tell you. By way of apology please accept that sneezing baby panda vid you've seen a billion times before and I'll get back to the good, or at least better stuff next week.

Tuesday, 9 February 2010

First actual post related to blog title (which was actually just a bunch of words cobbled together and has no actual influence on content)

Wanna see something cute and playfull? Wanna see a Sea Monkey? How about a pregnant Sea Monkey? How about a pregnant Sea Monkey that appears to be drinking? How about, a pregnant Sea Monkey that appears to be drinking and has a mans face?! Ok, here you go. On a side note, I do think it's a well made (and truly terrifying)costume.

I'm aware it's an old pic but this is my blog so nur nur.

Shock(wave) and Awe.

Yeah baby! Here's shockwave as he appears in the upcoming War for Cybertron game. I reckon he looks fuckin' sweet, and wouldn't look out of place in the third Transformers movie (Quick, start a petition!).
Also, I found a pretty fun kinda related vid by some dude going by the name of DrSMOOV.

Saturday, 6 February 2010

Fuck!!! YES!!!! Project Needlemouse truth revealed (officially)

Sega does love us! Sonic 4, Xbox arcade,summer 2010. That's all I'm saying *squeels with excitement and passes out*.

Thursday, 4 February 2010

"Day off"

No mega-awesome (or even moderately adequate) blog tonight. I have to sort out the cupboard where I store my hoard of completely useless shit.

Wednesday, 3 February 2010

New SEGA console!!!!!!!!

Yeah, my heart broke too when I saw that. Sega have licensed out a few games to those Zone 40 guys who make that cheesy rip off Wii. It comes with 2 motion sensitive controllers, that must be sensitive to motion or something? This is all brand new technology to me. It comes preloaded with 50 games (about 46 of which you'll have already played to death). On the upside it might be kinda fun to play Ecco with motion controll, on the downside... what's the point? Acording to some sources the thing has a cart slot to play all your old megadrive games, handy for anyone who has a shitload of games but no megadrive to play them on (so that'll be... no one). I'm gonna hate myself but I know for sure I'm gonna end up with one of these fucking monstrosoties A; because I'll buy anything with a Sega logo stamped on it and B; because I can't keep away from Sonic's cheesy litle grin. It's like he know's I'm gonna buy it and he's laughing at me. The rotten bastard!
They're out in the summer and cost aboot £40, You'll find 'em clogging up bargain store shelves by autumn.

Tuesday, 2 February 2010

So hungry I could eat a baby cow.

Feel like you've not eaten for a month? Then why not try this?! Dubbed "The widowmaker" this dainty snack consists of 1.5 lbs of ground beef, a pack of bacon, one pack of italian sausage, one box of hot pockets and half a pound of fried onion strips between 2 large Pepperoni Pizzas and topped with Velveta Cheese and Marinara Sauce. That thing could cure world hunger on it's own. I could totally devour one of these by myself but I don't like onions so I'm just gonna eat a box of pop tarts covered in icecream and sprinkled with bacon bits. Yummers.
For this and more, um... questionable foods/ delicious recipes hit This is why you're fat

Let your prayers be answered.

So anyone still waiting for Jesus' second coming? Sorry but you missed it. He's already here, on the intertubes!!! Ask Jesus your questions or prayers and they will be answered. Oh yeah, I forgot to metion, He's probably hung over and he FUCKING HATES YOU! If you still want advice you can message jesus here!

The Legend, The Man.

Here's the part where my incredible nerdy love for Sega comes out. I've tried hiding it (Not very well, I'm wearing a fucking Sonic t-shirt as I type this), I've tried growing out of it (Again, not very well. The chances of me growing out of anything are incredibly slim *glances over to the Optimus Prime toy sat on the desk*) and the only thing left to do is embrace it. Anywho, long boring story about Sega and the Sega communities efforts to get onto the trending topic list on twitter short (We failed), Sega thanked us anyway by reminding us how awesome they used to be.I present to you Segata Sanshiro!

He's a Judo master right? And he trains with a Giant Sega Saturn on his back and breaks N64 carts with his face! How could any Sega nerd not love this guy. What's that? Who the fuck is Chuck Norris?
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going out to puch a Playstation.

Digging a trench... WITH BULLETS.

I've been spending alot of time on the Bad Company 2 Demo on Xbox Live and been doing pretty well with it. The full games gonna be fun on a bun. The main reason I'm into this game more than say... ooh, modern combat 2, is because it's so much more than just run and gun. Take these three for example. Tired of being hammered by the other team, they decided to take time out and tried to dig a trench with bullets. They might not have been, but that's the best explanation I could come up with.

I never figured out what they where really doing, I got bored of watching and noticed the UAV was unmanned, so I skipped off in its direction... Because I love me some remote controlled death-from-above helicopter fun.

First things first

So this isn't really news, I'm just damn excited about it. I have a few weeks work starting tomorrow! Man, it's gonna be good. Not good in the "yay" kinda way, but good in the "thank fuck I'll finally have some money coming in" kinda way. Gotta get these old bones moving, I'm starting to rust. I'll let you know how my first day goes tomorrow. Oh yeah... Early mornings... Boooo!